Passive Aggressive Language

There are multiple ways for humans to communicate. Communication can take the form of dialogue, gossip, or presentation, but the most interesting one is the ‘passive-aggressive language’ and how it manifests during daily interactions within the business world. One can choose to speak their mind without ambiguities, references or idioms, but people in the business world tend to utilize passive-aggressive language more often than not. This might not have been the case initially, maybe at first the business world used a more direct way to communicate, one might have said what they wanted without trying to hide it in plain sight, but as the business world grew and took its current shape, the main form of communication became the passive aggressive language; as if the actors of the business world decided that their official language would be passive aggressive.

The business world is full of conflict whether between colleagues, managers and workers, or clients and service providers. In this context, the word conflict can represent an assignment that needs completion, a consulting service, a mutual project between multiple parties, or just a dialogue. Yet, there is no other way to resolve the conflict other than through communication. One cannot resort to some sort of a physical outlet as the means for resolution or one cannot use a direct form of speech which contains insults, it is simply not professional. Still, they need to relieve themselves of said conflict somehow. Where there is a conflict present it is inevitable for it to reach some sort of a resolution whether positive or not, so they resort to hiding their attacks in their sentences or social cues when they interact with the other instead of approaching the matter head-on. They fear that if they use the direct form of speech they will hurt the other because they will have to say things the other might not want to hear; even if it is the truth. Hence, they choose the passive-aggressive way to sugarcoat what they really mean through passive voice and seemingly harmless but ambiguous sentences. Unfortunately, this hurts the other much more than the direct form of speech.

Consider these two sentences: ‘The deadline is around the corner, but you are yet to complete the tasks assigned to you. You have to get them done by the end of today.’ and ‘Even though the deadline is around the corner we seem to be behind schedule. Let’s get on track.’ The first one is direct, the individual responsible is you, and you know what is being asked of you. On the other hand,  in the second one, there is an ambiguity about the person responsible. You cannot definitively say that it is you because it looks like the person forming the sentence will help you, but there is no way for you to know whether you will get help or not. This might result in you completing the tasks by yourself anyway, or you might choose to wait for the other to help you even though the other never intended to do so. You might be inclined to say, ‘But the sentence implies a collaboration,’ but it does not. The other was just trying to be polite not demanding. Still, at the end of the day, you will be the only one facing the consequences if you do not complete your tasks.

In addition, when almost everybody in the business world uses passive-aggressive language as the main form of communication, it sounds like they are talking about someone absent who is also supposed to do all the work; as if people love to gossip. However, more often than not this person is present, and the intention is to get through to them through passive aggression because nobody wants to offend said person. Not only that, but this person adopts the same form of speech after a certain point. They feel more and more alienated as the others keep pretending like they are not present, they get confused as to whether they are the person responsible for the task in question even if they initially knew what their responsibilities were, and just follow the lead of the others so that they could avoid humiliation through asking for clarification. It is as if the business world is a play, and the actors in it think that anything is possible if they use passive-aggressive language. Yet, in the end, the real meaning is lost in the sentences which ooze a false sense of politeness and comradery, and everybody leaves not knowing who will complete the tasks, or if they will be completed at all.

The actual response to such passive-aggressive language should be with a direct and clear form of communication, and the newbies of the business world start this way. However, the business world has tends to assimilate everyone in it to adopt its ways. In this context, it turns people who utilize a direct form of speech to use the passive-aggressive form. One can choose to keep to their way, but when everybody around them goes one way, it becomes very hard not to follow them; especially if they want to climb the ladders of the business world. Hence, everybody gets assimilated at some point and just go along with the game so that they are not the one who gets left behind; telling themselves that this has been the way long before they were in the game and it will be the same after they leave it, so why try and change it?

However, this form of speech does not make things easier in the long run. Sure, it might make it so that people are not offended initially, but they would rather be offended in the short term than lose their job because they did not complete the tasks they were supposed to. Therefore, people should stop using the passive form of speech and embrace the direct one so that they can clearly express what they want whenever they want. This transformation can be top-down or bottom-up, does not matter. What matters is that it happens because if it does not, people will keep feeling more and more alienated, nobody will complete their task within the intended deadline, and the business world will rot from the inside.