Everybody Needs Therapy

I want to say the headline says it all and there is no further need for me to explain why everybody needs therapy, but the norms of our society still state that therapy is for sick people or at the very least not healthy ones. I cannot say if this checks out globally, but especially in Turkish society, therapy is still taboo for most of the country. We, the Turkish people, cannot talk about needing therapy, receiving therapy or the benefits of it to most of our social circle; sure, there may be some people we can be open to about therapy, but more often than not we keep it to ourselves so that others do not think the worst of us. Thus, we end up shunning therapy and all things related to it whereas we should be welcoming it with open arms and advocating for every single member of society to benefit from it.

I sometimes find myself advising someone to receive therapy, whether a family member, a close friend or an acquaintance, their immediate action is usually to immediately retaliate and ask if I think they are mentally defective. Their mind immediately goes to the worst outcome and they conclude that I see them as a person unsound of mind because the word “therapy” is a trigger word for them thanks to the taboos of Turkish society. However, when I tell someone they need therapy, my intentions are pure. I do not want to label them as unsound of mind or unfit for society; on the contrary, I just mean that they would benefit from going to therapy because it would teach them about themselves. Therapy is an individual phenomenon, not society-wide. It does not matter what others think. All that matters is what is good for you, and when you do not know what is good for you or at least unsure, you should be receiving therapy because this is exactly why it is here. It will not heal you or cure you of all your illnesses or problems; you may not have any to begin with. Instead, it will help you obtain the tools not just to survive but also to thrive through your life by learning about yourself and the world around you as an extension. 

Again especially in Turkish society, we learn from a young age to keep our problems to ourselves, whether they be mental or physical. We learn that a strong individual solves their problems without even letting others know they have problems in the first place. Thus, admitting the necessity of therapy is admitting to be a weakling for a Turkish citizen. Unfortunately, when we refrain from tackling our problems head-on, we end up pushing said problems under the rug for suppression instead of acceptance, resolution, and learning.  Still, since it will be an admittance of weakness in the eyes of Turkish society, we go along with what we have learned and just grow up to be mentally and emotionally constrained. To put it plainly, most Turkish citizens lack the necessary tools to get over the obstacles they face in their lives because we do not learn to be open and honest about our problems. Instead, we learn to be secretive about everything because we think this is strength whereas the real strength is to be able to open up about our shortcomings and work on them to overcome them so that we can better ourselves.

When I say therapy, I do not only mean seeing a psychologist or a therapist regularly. Therapy takes different forms and adjusts itself to the needs of the individual. Needless to say, most will benefit from seeing a professional as therapy, but for some, reading, taking a walk or talking to a loved one could also be enough. To reiterate, therapy is an individual phenomenon and the best version of it depends on the individual. It is not something holy or profound, it is just a mediator. It is a place or a state where we can be sheltered from judgement and consequences of the real world. It is somewhere we can just be ourselves. It is somewhere we can work to understand ourselves as well as our shortcomings so that we can work on them towards becoming a better individual while also obtaining the necessary tools to keep doing so through the course of our lives. This is why when I talk about therapy my intentions are pure. 

All these aside, we are all unsound in the mind to begin with. We have built such a society that we need to slave away our prime years just to earn enough money not to starve; we need to spend a lot of time with people we hate just to network or feel included in society; we need to up with constant abuse, nonsense, and stupidity just not to be deemed insane. All these we need to do because this is the society we ended up building. If we, as well as our ancestors, were sound of mind, we would not have built such a society. We would have built a society of harmony and coherence, but instead, we have built one of insanity and chaos. Hence, one way or another, everybody goes nuts. We all might think this is normal and this is the way to be, but it is not. It just feels normal because this is the society we chose to build and live in. Therefore, normal now just means that you are a functioning citizen who goes to work every day, buys unnecessary items for pleasure, pays their bills and taxes on time, and socializes like there will be no tomorrow. Basically, normal today means not thinking about deeper, more profound stuff about what makes humans humans, and instead just living the way society wants us to live. Therefore, therapy has to stay taboo so that it cannot teach us not to take things for granted and search for the meanings behind them. This is why we all need therapy. It can and will help us if and only if we allow it to do so. If we all get therapy and submit to it fully, freely, and without prejudices; if we can let go of the taboos of our society and follow where therapy leads us with an open mind and an open heart, we will realize our problems and at least start working on solving them to better ourselves as well as our society.